It has been getting increasingly hard to decide what to make each day. And I say decide because it is not that I am having difficulty coming up with ideas, but rather choosing which to make. I went into this with several sketches for pieces, maybe tops ten, and figured the rest will come during the process. But I have been already changing things and reacting more intuitively than I originally thought I would. This comes as a surprise and not necessarily one that makes things easier. I also started to get a jump start on certain things, like cutting several pairs of undergarments at a time, getting those out of the way early in the day so that I can focus on the more interesting and more consuming pieces. I am slowly getting better at making the undergarments, figuring out a system. I remember working at a costume shop in maybe 2007 and they wanted me to wind ribbon onto a spool. At the beginning of the day I started doing this using my hands and going very slowly, but by the end of the day I had rigged up this whole winding system with pencils and whatever. My point is that the more you are forced to act out a repetitive task, the more likely you are to figure out a more efficient system. So far with the actual garments, I am worried about being too formulaic and want to make sure that there is good variety in the work, though I am sure at some point I will make more wrap pants and probably another dress like the one I am wearing today (not for lack of ideas, but because I like it and I know how it works, AND I could improve upon what I did).
Last night, post fireworks, I was talking with some people about this project and we were talking about the intention behind the whole thing. I think going into this, when I thought about this project many years ago, it seemed a more historical or technical challenge, something that was relevant to the consumerist nature of the artform of fashion, and how that relates to the modern cloth market. But as I go forward, even only a few days in, I am definitely seeking something more. I am looking to use hard work, repetition, and structure to transcend material in the most literal way. I already feel as though I have a better understanding of myself in a way, or at least I am finding things out that I am surprised by. I am finding strength and comfort in my ability to do this and the fact that I truly deep down have no doubt that I can execute this (regardless of how miserable it may make me as it goes on for another 25 days). It feels similar to being marginally without a home base last year as I commuted back and forth from Boston to New York each day. Maintaining sanity in a constant state of limbo leaves no energy for concern of other peoples' judgements, and I think this was a big lesson for me to learn; that it is seemingly the most simple thing to discard insecurities as seen through others eyes. Once free from that, there is much space for more productive thoughts.