July 29, 2013 - Memories.

Instead of continuing to question my purpose and intention, or talk any further on fear, and most importantly, to avoid any further rhetoric here, I have decided that today I am going to write on a place of happiness.  I feel like a majority of the time,  the experience of the past is one of bittersweet nostalgia that I sometimes shirk away from because it is a frustrating feeling to love the past too much.  Every once in a while, however, the sweetness overcomes the achey sadness of transitory time having slipped away.  There are only a few moments in my life that visit me on occasion and do not bring with them that burn to hold fast, but there are some that just simply remind me of the important things in my life that do make me happy and grateful.  Today, several memories crossed my mind, which were sparked by a quick and shimmering visualization of being on a mountaintop.  The first was a memory of going up to Pike's Peak in Colorado during the summer a few years ago while visiting my all time favorite state with my Mom, sister, and Aunt Donna.  When we got on the cog train, it was warm, balmy even.  By the time we reached the summit, it was snowing.  You could see forever, and you could see nothing, with the cloud cover.  I then switched this vision to another mountain, though worlds away, in China - Jade Dragon Snow Mountain in the Yunnan Provice - which I visited with my Mom, sister, brother, his girlfriend, and my friend Brandon.  This mountain was massive and we were the only ones out there.  The final memory that crossed my mind, was also in China, on that same trip, when we were in Dali.  We were out on a lake with fishermen who team up with cormorants (diving birds) to catch lunch.  We were in this little boat on a beautiful lake among mountains in rural China, which Chinese fishermen singing songs to us and to the birds.  It was one of the happiest moments of my life, sitting in that boat with the people I love, doing this ridiculous thing that was utterly surreal.  Nothing was being harmed.  (I guess the fish we ate were).  But the birds and the fishermen were collaborating and cooperating and everything was at peace.  I will never forget the awareness of how important this moment was, because it was so obvious that we were all sharing such potent contentedness, so happy to be there with each other, savoring every second.  Traveling is so important.  Family is so important.  Deep true friendships are so important.  I am grateful for these memories and for my family and friends and for having the opportunity to have made these moments part of the cinematography of my inner visual dialogue.  If nothing else, living life with the intent to create a repertoire of such moments, is, at least for today, enough.

July 28, 2013 - dress.

July 28, 2013 - as worn.