You would think that the last bit of this would be the easiest. On the contrary, however, I am finding these last few days to be the hardest of all. I am not sure if this is because I am ready to wrap this thing up, or if it is because I have to make more concrete and conclusive decisions, since I don't have a whole month to allow my ideas to spread across anymore. Sometimes placing limits on things gives you this great expanse of space to play around in, through locating barriers you can find the greatest distance within those walls - just like a cat will find a way to run the length of an apartment like honing the best shot on a pool table. But now that those barriers have their own limits, I find myself not being able to fit in all that I want to, running out of time, like I can't ever sew anything with these intentions after this is all over with. I know it is absurd, but the luxury of having this purpose, even if totally self inflicted, is something that I cherish. Life can so easily eclipse the things you care about deeply, without you ever questioning it. Prioritizing what is in your heart over what your brain knows to be right can really fuck with you. I cannot believe the amount of energy and convincing it has taken for me to even accept that art can triumph over life for just one month in my own personal realm. I already feel nostalgia for this practice, a bittersweet one for sure, as this has been hard work. It is sad to see this moment pass, which is what I am feeling in this Sunday portion of the project, the August of its lifespan, the time right before change comes, where you are tired of the old but hold fast to the comfort and familiarity of the fleeting now. I fear what is next, I fear it will not culminate. I fear the valleys. I fear that I may not be able to prioritize what my heart wants always. And that is a sinking feeling, like the death of something you know doesn't deserve it.
July 25, 2013 - romper.
July 25, 2013 - as worn.
July 25, 2013 - cosmic underpants.